The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully
by Joan Chittister
Published by BlueBridge, (an imprint of United Tribes Media) NY: 2008
Review by Genevieve S. Kineke
It makes sense that if Mick Jaggar and other aging rockers
are still prancing about the stage, then many radical thinkers
of the 1960's are clinging tightly to the ideologies that
once defined them. This includes their contemporaries in
the Church, one of whom is evidently just as absorbed in
those inventive ideas that she believes ought to carry
their devoted followers to the promised land.
Sister Joan Chittister offers her own sense of pique wrapped
in a folksy spiritual tone that has echoes of “Imagine” in
every one of its short chapters. The younger generation,
she insists, should respect their elders because, well, they're
older. Scanning various cultures worldwide that have the
sense to consult their local shamans for wisdom and guidance,
she notes that these elders have arrived at a “flowering
of the spirit,” and shall “determine what truth
will be for all of us.” Now, of course if someone had
told the young and rebellious Sister Joan this, she would
have laughed outright, but now she is old and says the elders
must “improve the world through the wisdom based on
experience.” It sounds remarkably similar to all the
personality-driven exegesis which has plagued the Church
for years.
She reminds her peers of their obligation to age well, to
disprove the stereotypes about aging, and “make creation
a spirit of our spirit.” [Deepak Chopra, call your
office.] Remember, the elders have “the sensitivities
of the ages,” and “know where every idea has
come from. And why.” They will always recognize genocide
and holocausts, because they have lived through them. Indeed,
they are the very “taproot” of society that we
ignore at our peril.
Now, the reader may find this charming considering the details
of the author's life. She encourages her fellow elders to
color a little outside the lines, after a life of stifling
rigidity. “We’ve learned so well how to live
the rules of life, we are not so sure how to live its freedoms.” This
is odd coming from a woman who has flaunted authority at
every level for over fifty years, including the wise shaman-popes,
who by her present thesis deserved her respect. She didn’t
find their age or the centuries of tradition they defended
to hold meaning in her hierarchy of values, but did exactly
what she accuses the present generation of younger people
of doing—ignoring those very “taproots” of
Christian truth. Never mind all that. Now that the author
is an elder, everything has a different reference.
What is aging well, according to Sister Joan? Examples are
sprinkled throughout almost every chapter, as she reminds
the elderly of their responsibility to be “funny, silly
and irresponsible,” to stroll and “explore small
boutiques, meet new people.” Old age, she confides,
brings with it a “giddy sense of possibility,” and
after having “suppressed” our thoughts for so
long [she wrote that, evidently, with all seriousness] we
are now obliged to do one “outrageous” thing
a week, to live impetuously, “with an edge, with strength,
and with abandon.” Now won't that be a novel thought
to her contemporaries who came of age with Woodstock and
war protests.
And yet, she knows that there may be readers who find their
memories and past choices have become burdensome over the
years. Sister Joan begs these melancholy souls to cast aside
their regrets, for her truism justifies all: “Only
when rules are broken are lessons learned.” Such darkness
is a “pathology” to be cast firmly aside: “Regret
is, in fact, the sand trap of the soul. It entices us to
lust for what never was in the past rather than to bring
new energy to our changing present.” Well, maybe. But
perhaps these regrets are less about what was missing and
more about what was once all too present: sexual permissiveness,
neglect of vows, aborted babies, abandonment of legitimate
responsibilities, filial impiety or the confusion between
authentic love and sham thrills.
Sister is adamant that her readers “refuse to make
our memories a burden.” And goodness, with the passage
of the years, “there is no one to forgive us any more.”
Here we discover the gaping hole in this consecrated woman's
book. There is no God. Surely, the sins of youth were offenses
against God as much as they offended one’s neighbors—and
He might appreciate some contrition. But page after page
reveals her syncretist approach to truth: The Psalmist, the
Zen master and Qur’an all lead us to the same truth,
which is that religion isn’t a body of knowledge, but “a
process of becoming.”
The most revealing thought came mid-way through the increasingly
tiresome text. “Now we are beyond the narcissism of
youth ... Now we can let our spirits fly. We can do what
our souls demand fully human beings do. This is the moment
for which we were born.”
The reader needs to veil his eyes from the train wreck of
folly. For it becomes obvious that the author has never shed
the narcissism of her youth, but only plastered it over with
years of indulgence and repackaged it as wisdom of the ages.
It’s still all about the defiant soul who is the yardstick
of her own impoverished world.
With softer voice and a lighter step, she repeats the mantra: “Nothing
eats away at us now. Nothing drives us beyond our grasp now.
Nothing is left to us now but ourselves. And, we come to
realize, it is enough.”
No regrets, no humility, no real wisdom. She nails down
her philosophy by remarking, “The only person who can
save me from myself is myself.” A frightening horizon,
but consistent from beginning to end. The idol of youthful
idealism has simply been swapped for the idol of age, and
both heap scorn on the third commandment. Sadly, “the
gift of years” has made little impact on this life.
Mrs. Kineke is the author
of The Authentic Catholic Woman (Servant Books).