What’s in a Mother’s Heart?
By Genevieve S. Kineke
Copyright © 2006
Who has not surveyed the downy head of a sleeping
infant with wonder? Who has not looked in on a preoccupied
toddler and given a wry smile over his focus on such occasions?
How can anyone look into the earnest eyes of a child trying
to explain an important point without trying to capture the
memory? "And his mother kept all these things
in her heart" (Luke 2:51b). Yes, yes — the discussion must go on,
but in the back of our minds is the precious love we bear
for this stalwart soul who is pouring himself out without
reserve. With the spare energy available to us, we sear the
moment onto our mental film, trying to make it last as long
as we do. Who will remember these vignettes if the mother
is not there to store them in her treasurehouse? Who bears
witness to the minutiae — the eye color, the tilt of
the head, the bearing, and odd twist of feet, and the moments — the
tying of shoelaces, connecting with the T-ball, anger over
injustice, or a grade worthy of the refrigerator? Childhood
is a vast assortment of mundane details awash in love. Motherhood’s
task is to file them in a reliable container shaped by affection
and reinforced by hope. On occasion, one might think that
the heart would burst, so laden are these moments with joy
and sorrow, with desires reaching around all the possibilities
for the good. We laugh with the laughter of our children,
shudder when their pain is too much, and feel it in our marrow
when their hopes and disappointments echo our own from decades
past. But how can we hold onto these memories in
our fragile state? There are too many, the demands of life
crowd and press, and the mind is fallible in its best condition.
I am in awe of many women and what they can remember about
their children, my children, and dates and events we’ve
shared. I’m put to shame when they rattle off weights,
sizes, birthday party themes, and who lost which teeth when.
I’m content to remember my children’s names and
present ages and, with difficulty, impress various scenes
on the aging brain with hopes that they’ll last a few
decades: an early morning drive to hockey practice with one
son, a set of matching Easter outfits for a couple children,
how the profile of one infant and father lined up on the
pillow one sunny morning years back. This beastly memory of mine has impressed on
me a few lessons that I have tried to spiritualize — since
all things work together unto good, and all that. The first
lesson is obvious: We have only the present moment to give
to God. What are we doing with this day, this hour, this
minute? It’s really all that we have, especially if
we keep our past sins at bay through confession. With our
souls washed clean through sacramental grace, we can imbue
this moment with the love it deserves — and have only
love on hand from one encounter to the next. Secondly, we can entrust the memories to Our
Mother’s heart — she loves each of our children
as she loved her own, and there the treasured moments are
safe and secure. She can even draw her mantle over them enough
to allow us to see what we do recall with her eyes and her
faith. We can ask her to give them to her Son as our gift,
a return for His generosity in all things and for bestowing
the grace which makes such moments possible. And this leads to a third essential point:
everything in this world is passing. Like those dripping
cones on a hot summer’s day, the locks of hair from
a first haircut, or the brittle corsages from romantic nights
passed, the tangible elements of life will vanish into eternity
one day. Dust unto dust — and what will remain? Simply
love. All eternity will be like the Immaculate Heart of our
Lady, filled with moments transfigured, the scattered remnants
of all our days’ laughter, sacrifice, and generosity. And so I remember what I can, give it all to
Mary, and trust that she will weave an eternity with the
Author of every memory, the Keeper of life’s flame,
and the One Who transformed every corner of the world with
His love. |