“Service” is all around us. We make service calls, enlist in the service, order room service, and service our cars. We tip for good service at restaurants, wait in customer service lines to return items, and bemoan shabby service, especially while shopping in a hurry. Our country hosts a diplomatic service, we attend church services regularly, and – only on rainy days – may opt for a full service station. Pricey, but occasionally worth it!

We expect good service, pay well for it, and complain when it’s missing, but it must be admitted that it’s a commodity in this generation – one dimension that’s de rigeur in our commercial society. It is completely detached from loyalty; on the contrary, it is dangled in front of the consumer to shift his loyalty, knowing full well that when a competitor offers better service, the consumer is off again chasing a new store or brand.

A Hierarchy of Service

It was not always so. Long ago, service was a lifelong commitment either carefully chosen or forced by circumstances, but in either instance not easily changed. All of society was in a hierarchy of service, from lord of the manor down to the lowest peasant, and a breach of service meant the loss of honor or even of life. “Whom do you serve?” was an expected query of those who traveled beyond their normal bounds, and the answer placed the traveler in a context that the questioner could understand.

Europe has a long tradition of such ordered life, as does most of Asia, the Middle East, and parts of Africa. Knowing where one fits in, to whom one owed his loyalty and from whom one will receive protection is a fact of life that creates order when justice is at the heart of it. Unfortunately, it also crushes freedom and abuses human dignity when justice is absent.

No one was without the obligations of fealty – even the highest lords and kings, for they served God and were accountable for their behavior, and needed their sacraments from the priests who themselves had pledged to serve Christ and bring His gospel to their flocks in various services.

Women, of course, had their own place in this hierarchy – promising in marriage to serve their husband or in religious vows to obey their superiors. Married women themselves took charge of the servants in the home, maintaining the staff, guiding their work, and even serving them in return when they suffered illness or setbacks.

In these settings, service was an exchange of obligations – giving service for protection – but it was not a shifting commodity as it is in the consumer world of today. While the citizens of these historical realms may have been short-changed of many rights that we legitimately enjoy today, they were long on duty, which has become nearly foreign to our way of life.

Service Without Loyalty

Although we undertake service ourselves in various settings, we know that we can change them whenever the need arises. We take on different jobs, and leave them, we sign with one phone company then shift to another, we serve on committees until it no longer fits with our schedule. There is no harm in this since everyone agrees to the rules.

But what about bringing that mindset to other relationships that should not be so variable? Obviously divorce comes to mind, as one or both partners in a marriage decide that it is no longer convenient or pleasant to serve the other. And many an aged parent is wondering about the gift of self that was so generously given that has not been returned in accord with the Fourth Commandment. The problem with this “service as commodity” mentality is that it spills over into the family arena and suddenly people start asking, “what’s in it for me?” Or, “where’s the return in this bargain?” The exchange of “gift of self” seems woefully unable to compete in this market and many say inwardly those dreadful words of the fallen angel, “I will not serve.”

In this age, even beyond the family, there is the general idea that – to have “arrived” – one reaches a point where he can simply pay to be served and be done with it. One has a doorman, an elevator man, a nanny, a cook, a driver, a maid, and hairdresser – in essence: the proverbial Penthouse Suite, with no one above him to worry about.

Whom Do We Serve?

The irony is that we all serve. We may think we’ve wiggled out of such oblation but we serve by our very being – the question is “who?” If we were at all attentive in the recent season of Lent, we may have reflected on our sinfulness and our defects, especially the things in our lives that create obstacles to God. We may have resolved to cut back on useless pastimes, to use more moderation in our consumption, or to prioritize prayer and spiritual reading. Now that the bells of Easter have become distant and faint, we could revisit those reflections from a different angle: what or whom are we serving?

Unbenownst to us, we may be serving our ego, our image, our outward appearance, or our vanity which crops up in unique ways. (While our image may be one of piety or holiness, serving the image rather than the essence is also wasted energy.) We may be serving our clubs, our homes, our hobbies, our collections, or even – our stuff. Considering all the television shows and publications dedicated to the ordering, arrangement, and consolidation of our possessions, one wouldn’t be off target in suggesting that countless people are serving their stuff – and paying for the privilege. The nervous giggles of many guests on these shows indicate that even they know that something is amiss, but there is a comfort in the number of people in their very predicament, warranting the existence of the very industry which has drawn out these titters.

While each of us will have these elements vying for our time and attention, we need only look to Our Lady to see where the answer lies. In her answer to the angel Gabriel, she says: “I am the handmaid of the Lord.” She knows exactly Whom she serves with every fiber of her being and there is no room in her for distraction. She serves the Lord, she is at the disposal of His plan, and she is faithful in each detail of her service. She is selfless, focused, and generous, offering to Him the service owed Him as loving Creator.

Now it is for each of us to see how to imitate Mary’s service in our own circumstances. With the help of the words of Christ, we know that the most important commandment, “to love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, and your strength,” is mirrored in the way we treat our neighbor, so that is where we are to find our vocation.

The thought of endlessly serving parents, husband, children, coworkers, and friends can bowl us over, or even strike terror in our hearts, but we must first clarify what this service entails. The service God has in mind is not a slave, a doormat, or a lackey. The definition of “to serve” centers on the concept: To work for or meet the requirements of. Thus, authentic service would require that the one who serves knows what the one he serves truly needs – and that is simple. He needs to know love, which is the essence of God. In many, many instances we are the bridge to God and our service – offered in love – can make recognizing God easier for others.

Our service must have the good of the other in mind, which sometimes means acting, and sometimes means refraining from acting. It can be as simple as a providing a smile, or it can demand years of labor, for example with a chronically ill family member. Some service is as simple as listening, other service is complex such as engaging a difficult personality on an important topic. Service must be backed up by prayer and its essential element is fidelity – we serve for as long as God would have the service rendered. God will provide the grace, provided that we are serving in the right place.

To Serve Means to Reign

Embracing our identity of being “handmaidens” is not degrading, but simply embracing reality. As Christians, we follow the Son of God, Who came to earth to be a suffering servant. Why would we want a different vocation? In the words of our Holy Father, who himself is “the servant of the servants of God,”
Christ, the “Servant of the Lord,” will show all people the royal dignity of service, the dignity which is joined in the closest possible way to the vocation of every person (On the Dignity and Vocation of Woman, 5).

Just as Christ the Bridegroom served His beloved the Bride the Church, Mary as perfect image of the Church mirrored His generosity of self. Pope John Paul II reminds women who love this Church, “This reality also determines the essential horizon of reflection on the dignity and the vocation of women (MD, 5). This is who we are and our happiness is to be found only by clinging to the will of God.

Since we will all serve something in this life, we might as well make sure we’re serving the right thing in the right way. Then we as Catholic women will serve to build the Kingdom as Christ intends and fill it with our loved ones. In all honesty, Christ – and many others – have served each of us all our lives in countless ways. Our sanctification is a communal effort, and self-service – so quick in the grocery check-out – is not an option.